hEARs to you

Hi everyone! I’m so happy you are hEAR! My name is Courtney Speaks and I am 23 years old. I come from a family of hearing loss and started noticing it in me around 13 or 14. Because my mom is completely deaf and all my siblings have some degree of loss, I knew what to be looking for. However I, nor anyone else in my family, expected it to hit me so young. I was freshman in high school and was not able to keep up in conversations with my friends and was having a hard time hearing my teachers. I was being moved to the front of all my classes and still struggling. At first, I thought because of my family history, that it was my mind playing tricks on me. Making me think I had a hearing loss simply because I was so involved in it at home. But after a few months, my mom and I both realized it had started with me younger than any of my older siblings. After some hearing tests, it was determined that I wasn’t quite ready for hearing aids, but would be soon. That is exactly what every ninth grader wants to hear. Not.

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Tenth and eleventh grade were even harder as my hearing continued to deteriorate. I was at the point where I would benefit from hearing aids, but they are expensive! I had recently had foot surgery and braces so the excess money for me had pretty much been used up. Knowing how much I needed hearing aids, my mom and step-dad discussed how they could make it happen with my siblings.

Christmas 2011 was hands down the best Christmas I have ever had. In the days and weeks leading up to Christmas, I noticed there was a lack of presents under the tree. I didn’t say anything, I figured my mom was either really slacking in the gift buying department this year, or that money was tight. However, on Christmas Eve, surrounded my family, I was handed a thin wrapped present decorated with bows. Inside was a paper that read:

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                                     "There is $2,000 in the bank for your new hearing aids. 

                                                                      Merry Christmas. 

                                                                      Love, your family"

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It wasn’t the best Christmas because I finally got something I needed (although that was a big part of it), but because my siblings sacrificed their Christmas and even contributed to the fund. Christmas morning we were able to sleep in, enjoy breakfast, and each other’s company. There was no tearing open of presents and no wrapping paper mess, but there was an abundance of love and gratitude because they gave me a gift that changed my life.

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A month later I was fit for my first hearing aids. I didn’t realize what I had been missing the past couple years. I forgot that the AC in cars make noise, fingers tapping on a desk are so annoying (sorry), and that the microwave actually beeps when it’s done. When I was first fit for hearing aids at 17, my hearing was at a 35% loss. Six years later at 23, it is at 55% loss.  Hearing aids are just that-aids. My hearing will never be perfect and I don’t even remember what “normal” hearing sounds like. It will most likely continue to get worse, but my mom and brother have both had successful cochlear implant surgeries which help immensely. I will most likely have that surgery as well someday.

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Many people ask me if I wish I could hear better...well, obviously! But, I also tell them that if I had to choose one my senses to lose, it would be my hearing. I am so grateful that I can feel, taste, smell, and see (although that’s going too!).

 

At 17, I was very self-conscious telling people that I had a hearing loss and wore hearing aids. I usually wore my hair down and would pretend to know what was going on. I’m not sure how long it took me, but my life got so much easier once I felt confident telling people. I have never had someone get upset that they had to repeat something to me. It’s not my fault that I can’t hear and it doesn’t define me.

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